When I was detoxing from the narcissist, I would make a list in my mind of incredibly fucked up things he did. I would often ask myself ‘why didn’t I follow my gut and ran.’ It is all so clear to me now that he is a toxic person that did a lot of bad things. But during my time with him, I would often doubt myself and defend his actions. He always painted this picture of himself as being the perfect gentleman, even though I should have known better seeing his actions. I wanted to believe it so bad.
‘You can’t make this stuff up’ list of shit the narcissist did.
- He joined a group chat where people would show naked pictures of themselves, when I asked him about it he said he didn’t know what kind of group it was. The group was called ‘the naughty cave.’ I later found out that he knew exactly what kind of group it was. Every new member had to make a picture touching their nose. A very observant friend forwarded me his initiation picture. Oh boy, the look on his face when he realized I found out. Of course, he got angry at me because I should have just asked him! Like I did only ten times.
- The narcissist showed inappropriate pictures of him and his wife, the NSFW kind. He also proudly stated that his wife thought he deleted those. Somehow he got off on making a fool out of his wife. He had me believing that she was this horrible person that he was divorcing. Well, I know better now, the only horrible person is him.
- I always had to reply to him instantly. If it took longer than 30 sec, he would ask what I was doing. Because what was more important than him? I spend months explaining myself, telling him I was sorry for having a life, Boosting his ego…
- The narcissist was in ‘love’ with me, two other girls and his wife all at the same time. Of course, it took a lot of prying to get the truth out of him. Lying was his nature, and he was very good at it. Of course, it had nothing to do with love. He just needed multiple sources to get max attention.
- If I didn’t have time to talk to the narcissist. He would tell me he was going to call his ‘good looking girlfriend’ for a hook-up. (Keep in mind that he was also married!).
- So first the narcissist convinced me that he and his wife are divorcing. After a few months, the story changed to ‘it’s not that easy.’ Later he would make sure that I knew they were intimate. He would tell me ‘ok hun I need 30 min. I’m getting some’. If he noticed that I was getting upset, he would say ‘you know that I need this.’ Because what is more important than his needs right?
- The narcissist would tell my friends that I was sensitive and if they could please talk to me about it. Because it was annoying him and he couldn’t handle the drama. He should have thought about that before showing romantic pictures of him and his ‘soon to be ex-wife’ on a beach in Mexico.