My personal experience and tips on how to deal with your thoughts and emotions while recovering from a big life event
I had to distract myself all the time from the narcissist. I would hopelessly obsess about what happened, how I got manipulated and used. It was excruciating. Recovering was a long and challenging road. I felt unworthy of love and life. I wanted answers, but I wasn’t getting any. Thankfully I had sweet friends who told me that I was worthy and wasn’t to blame, that it could happen to anyone. They helped me see that he was a toxic person that I needed to cut from my life and mind.
At first, it was hard. My mind kept thinking about the narcissist, and I would get mad at myself, telling myself I was weak and crazy. When I realized this was the same as saying ‘ don’t think about a pink elephant.’ I slowly started to accept my thoughts, and instead of getting mad at myself I would search for something else to do.
This is a list of things that helped me
– Sports: walking on a treadmill with the music really loud, yoga, weightlifting. You can do anything you like, as long as it gets those endorphins going.
– Writing: questions, letters, anything on your mind. Write it up and feel how freeing it is.
– Binge watch series: not the best thing to do, but it can be nice for the days that you feel low and tired and you need to keep your mind occupied.
– Friends: this especially helped me, either meet up with them or call them, chat with them. It keeps your mind busy, and they can help you with your thoughts.
– DIY: make something, a painting, color in an adult color book, fix that old table or anything else you like, you keep your mind busy and you also use both sides of your brain. This can be very healing.
– Study: Learn a skill, a language or get a degree. The possibilities are endless. You will feel very proud and satisfied.
– Vacation: Go to the beach, or book a city trip, wellness vacation. Anything you like. Going out of your comfort zone can help you grow. You will feel energized and renewed when you come back.
There are a lot of options. But the point is, we all need hobbies to keep us sane, especially if you are going through tough times. It’s ok to think about what is happening. But don’t allow yourself to drown in it. Keep your mind occupied and focus on your growth. Cause you are all that matters.